Friday, April 6, 2012

Overcoming Chapter Four

                                       Chapter 4
                                                   How Will I?
                                       

“So, you ready to head home or do you want to go bowling first?” Nina teased Jett as they drove out of the hospital parking lot. “I'm not sure if I can't go to school in three day.” It
6 o'clock on a Friday night and he was going to try to go to school on Monday. The doctor said he could try if he didn't put weight on his leg. He hasn't started much PT so his leg was pretty much bum right now. He was going to have to be in a wheelchair for a few weeks till he got his strength back. “You'll be fine. Maybe there's a way for me to go with you.” She ventured hopefully. “Probably not.” He shot her down quickly. “I'll have my Grandpa talk to the school. We'll see what happens.” Nina said still cheerful. “What if I can never do sports again, Nina?” Nina laughed nervously, “Then you'll have to smart up!” She teased taking a side way glance at him. He wasn't in a joking mood and she could see that. “I'm sorry, Jett. But I think we need to have this talk later or your going to be worn out when you get home. And you know Danny is going to want to stay up and talk to you about his big news.” Nina said softly. “I know.” Jett sighed. “I'm just worried about how everything will be when I go back to school. Will people treat me the same, Nina?” Nina sighed. He wasn't about to give up and have this talk later and she knew it. “Listen,” Nina said pulling into his driveway and turning the truck off. “We can have this talk later, Jett. Right now,” Nina came around to open his door and pulled out his wheelchair. “You need to focus on your family. Now take it easy. That's it. Lean on me now. Okay. There that wasn't too hard.” Nina pushed Jett to the door and rang the bell. No answer. “They said they be home.” Nina muttered pulling out her key to his house. “I didn't know you had a key.” “Your mother gave it to me.” Nina turned and added, “You don't mind, do you? I've been running Danny to and from school and needed a key.” Jett shook his head. “I don't mind. Just wondering.” Jett smiled and Nina wheeled him into the living room where Danny, Tommy, Liz, and Nina's Grandpa, Liz and Tommy's mom, and a man who Jett guessed to be Liz and Tommy's dad jumped out and yelled “Welcome home!” Jett smiled as he got hugs from everyone but the man in the next to Liz's mom. “Mom should be home soon, Jett.” Danny said jumping up and down. “I want to show you something! Come on! I'll wheel you out there!” He smiled his big childish grin. “Should I be afraid?” He teased as Danny roughly wheeled him out the door. “You’re not afraid of anything.” Danny said surely. If only you knew, Danny. If only you knew. Jett thought quietly as they came into the front yard. “See! I saved up enough money to buy a new cherry red bike!” Danny went from behind Jett to the small cherry red bike and hopped on. “What do you think?” He asked beaming. “I think it looks great. But it's too windy to ride right now. Let's get back inside before you get chilled.” Danny ran and gave Jett a big hug and held on. Jett hugged him back and didn't let go. “I missed you, Jett.” Jett felt a tear run on to his shoulder. Danny's crying. “I miss you too, Danny-boy.” Jett fought back his own tears. He couldn't cry. Not in front of Danny. Not in front of Nina. Not in front of anyone. “Let's head back before you make me cry.” Danny said quietly but Jett held on. He didn't want to let his brother go. He buying his own bike was proving he was growing up. “I love you so much, Danny-Boy. And I don't think I tell you that enough.” Danny pulled away. “I love you too.” He started crying. “Hey, buddies don’t cry. I really like your bike. I might have to borrow it sometime.” He teased. “What if you can't?” His voice rose as more tears fell. “What do you mean Danny?” “What if you can never do any sports again? Did you think of that? If you did you sure don't act like it!” He shouted then ran to the house in tears. “Danny! Danny, come back! Danny-Boy you come back here right now!” Jett shouted after him. Jett stayed put side in the grass for a long time till Nina walked toward him. He told her what happened with Danny. “This is going to be hard on all of us Jett. And we hope you can do sports again. But,” She kneels beside him and takes his hand and he gets ready for a big blow. “A part of us figures you may never play sports again and we all have to except that. It's going to be really hard but we have to do it. I know this is a lot to ask of you but you have to be the strong one here. No one else is right now.” Nina gave his hand a squeeze. “Nina, what are you doing tomorrow night?” Forget what she's doing, what am I doing? I can't ask out my best friend. It just is strange! But I love her. Why do I love her? Why does she not feel the same? “Nothing.” She stated. “Oh. Okay.” He quickly started to wheel away but Nina still held his hand. “Why, did you want to ask me something?” Nina's mind whirled with the thought of dating Jett. Wait. Nina thought suddenly. I can't go out with my best friend. It just is strange! But he loves me. Why does he love me? Why don't I love him? What is wrong with me! “I don't want this to be strange or anything but I was wondering,” Say no. Whatever Jett said no. “If you would want to go out tomorrow..?” “Sure.” Nina heard herself say. “Great. So what should we do tomorrow?” “Let's talk about it tomorrow. Right now we need to get back inside.” Nina stood and pushed Jett back inside. “I made a cake!” Liz said loudly. “See Jett, it said Welcome Home Jett!” Jett reaches his arms out to her and she falls into his embrace. He heard her sniffling “It's okay to cry, Liz. I know its tuff and we are told to be strong but sometimes we just have to let our armor fall for a while and let it all out with out the worry of being kicked.” Liz cried softly into his shoulder for three minutes before noticing everyone was watching her. “I'm sorry.” Liz sniffled. “I'm getting tear stains on your shirt.” Jett smiled as she pulled back. “That's fine. I've never liked this shirt anyways.” He assures her. “Let's cut the cake.” Nina said with tears in her own eyes. “I have something to say first.” Jett wheeled himself to the middle of the room and all teary eyes fell on him. “I don't know why you guys are saying that we have to be strong or where on earth you got it because, we don't. We don't have to be strong. I don't care why you’re trying to be strong. If it’s for me, if it's for you, it doesn't matter. Think of it this way, being told to be strong when it doesn't matter if we are or not is like getting kick and sometimes we just have to let our armor fall for a while and break down, let it all fall with out the worry of being kicked.” Jett looked around the room as he spoke. Liz, who was all ready in tears, left the room. Danny stood quietly by Tommy. Tommy was standing as strong as he could. And Nina was trying not to run into Jett's arms and cry on his shoulder like she wanted to. “Who wants cake?” Liz's mom said whipping her own tears. “I'll take a slice.” Jett moved closer to Liz's dad. “That was a well thought out speech, young man.” Jett shakes hands with the man and asks who he is. “I'm Tommy's father.” He looks at his watch. “And I have to leave. Goodbye young man. It was a pleaser to meet you.” He leaves and Liz slowly comes toward Jett. “I need to say sorry.” “I already told you, this isn't my favorite-” “Not about the stupid shirt!” Liz spouts. “I lied to you when you were in the hospital. I had gotten my homework done early ever day since you got in the hospital. I wanted to come every time to see if you were okay. But I was too afraid to see you because.” Her voice breaks and Jett reaches out for her hand. “I thought you were going to die out there. I didn't want to go because I was afraid to watch you die again.” Liz leans in and cries on Jett's shoulder again.

 “Why does she keep crying on his shoulder? And why is he letting her?” Nina asks with edge to her tone. “She's upset, Nina. Jett's just comforting her. You know if you let your tears fall I'm sure Jett would come over here and comfort you.” Tommy smiled to himself. “I cried till I had no tears left then kept crying the day the snake got him. I'm not about to shed more tears just to get his comfort!” Nina hissed. “Okay, whatever.” Tommy smiled and went to get cake. “Hey Danny where are those home movies you said you had?” Nina called into the kitchen. “Already in the VCR player!” “Okay!” Nina walked to the VCR player and pressed play. A younger Jett appeared on the screen with his dad. “Dad, you see that girl?” The young Jett asked. His dad nodded. “She's the one I told you about. Nina lives with her grandpa. Her grandma died of a heart attack before Nina was born. Her mom and dad died in a car crash. That's why she lives with her grandpa. Her favorite colors are blue, black, and green. She loves being outdoors and is going to be a missionary in Africa. I think she's going to be a teacher there.” The younger Jett smiled. “You sure know a lot about her, Jett.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “I know everything about her, Dad.” Jett said in a matter-of-fact tone. His dad laughed a gruff laugh. “Sounds like it.” “I think I really like her. Dad. Like really really reaaaalllly like her!” His dad smiled and laughed again. “Wait, dad is that on? Turn it off! Turn it off! I'M TELLING MOM!!” Jett screeched and ran into the house. The TV turned black. “I didn’t know we still had that.” Jett whispers. Nina turns to face him; everyone else went to the front lawn. “I didn’t know you knew all those things.” Nina whispers back. “I know everything about you, Nina.” “I don’t know a lot of things about you.” “My past is better off where it is. Forgotten.” Jett said sternly but quietly. “But, I am sure of one thing.” Nina whispers stepping close to Jett’s wheelchair. “And what is that?” Jett smiles as she gently kneels next to him. I want you to love me but I won’t push you into it. I’ll let you go where you want to go. But I will always love you, Nina. “You love me.” She whispers then leans closer to Jett. “I love you.” He whispers then leans closer to Nina. Only inches a part. Nina closes her eyes. I could kiss her. Jett glances at her hands, their shaking. She needs comfort not a kiss. Jett slowly puts his arms around her and pulls her close to a hug. “I thought I was…” Nina trailed off. You’re not ready, Nina. Can’t you see that? “Not yet.” Jett whispers and he could hear her cry softly into his shoulder. “Why do I cry all the time lately?” Nina sniffled. “Because your, Nina. And you care about people and when those people get hurt you feel their pain. That’s what I love about you.” Nina seemed to calm down slightly at this. “I love you, Nina.” Jett whispers. Tears trickle down Nina’s face again. She’s upset. She can’t say it back. But, I can’t hold the words back. I’ll always tell them to you, Nina. I’ll wait till I hear those words from you, one day. I’ll wait for you, Nina. Don’t you know that, you don’t have to say ‘I love you’ till your ready? “Hey, shh. Don’t cry, Nina. Can’t I love you?” She nods. “Then let me love you, okay? Just let me love you.” Jett pulls her close again. “Just let me love you.” He whispers in her ear. “If you let me like you.” She whispers leaning against his chest. Jett's chuckle ruffled in Nina's ear. “Always, Nina. Always.” He whispers. “Jett! Jett come out here please!” Liz calls her voice sounding panicked. “I'll be right there.” Jett calls back. “Now, please!” She shouts. “I'll be right back.” He told Nina. “I'll come with you.” She said rising then pushing him out the door. “What’s the problem, Liz?” Jett's glowing smile vanished when he saw a man dressed like a police officer standing by Liz, Tommy, Their mom, Nina's grandfather, and Danny. “Nina can you take Danny and the others inside, please?” Jett's voice cracks and Nina didn't move. She knows what this means as well. It's happened to both of us before. Jett turned his wheelchair around. Not wanting to look the cop in the face. He knew this man that stood before him. He reported my father's death. He came in the middle of the night and told my mother that dad died because of a drunk driver. He knows me too. Star player on every sport, everyone knows me. “Nina,” Jett whispers harshly. “Snap out of it. Take the others in side. Please do this for me. I'll take you somewhere really fancy for dinner and wear a monkey suit, just please take them inside,” Jett lowered his voice. “I don't want Danny to have to hear this, Nina. We know what this means.” Nina nodded and walked over to Danny. “We still need to eat that cake guys. Let's go inside. We'll see you in a minute, Jett.” Nina did well on getting everyone inside. “How's the leg, Jett?” Officer Miles asks. “There. Why are you hear, Miles?” The officer looks down. “Listen, Jett,” “It's about my mother, isn't it?” The officer looks at Jett surprised. “Why would you say that?” Jett's face equaled Miles shock. “Isn't that why your here?” Miles looked down again then back at Jett. “It wasn't her fault, Jett. You have to remember that.” “It never is.” Jett mutters. “You don't get it, Jett. Your mom wasn't handling a bottle. She didn't die because of a bottle like you think she did.” Miles waits for Jett to interrupt but him but Jett didn't. “She was trying to save someone else.” Tears trickled down Miles face as he grips Jett's shoulders. “And they killed your mom. They shot her.” Jett's face pales as it hits him. “My mother is dead.” Jett whispers. Miles was dating my mom. Is that why he's so torn up about it? Then something else hit Jett as he was a small ring box in Miles front pocket. He was going to propose to her tonight. “You were going to...” Jett trailed off. “Yes.” Miles started to sob. “She would have said yes. She loved you, Miles.” Jett said tears running down his face. He couldn't hold them in anymore. His mother was dead and his leg was in pain, he couldn't hold them anymore, he wouldn't. So Jett let them fall as Miles held on to him in a hug. “She loved you too, Jett. You know that right? She put the bottle away and got herself on God's track. She's with him right now, Jett.” Jett didn't know what to say but somehow words formed, “I'm going to be taking care of Danny by my self?” Miles stood shakily. “No.” “Are you going to take care of us?” “No. The station tracked down your grandparents on your mother’s side and contacted them. They will be here by Monday afternoon.” Miles looked toward the house. “You want me to tell, Danny?” “What grandparents?” Jett wasn’t about done with this talk. “Your mother’s mom and dad. Didn’t you know them?” “I have grandparents? And they are going to take care of us? Wait, will we have to move?” “I don’t know. I have to get back, goodbye, Jett. You have my number right?” Jett nods. “Call me if you any need help, Okay?” “Thanks.” Miles pulls out and drives off. Jett goes back into the house; everyone is looking at him waiting to hear what happened. The adults know; they look torn up. “Where are Nina and Tommy?” Jett asks slowly. “What did Miles want? Did mom get drunk again?” Danny asks quickly. “No. Danny, come here, buddy.” Jett lifts Danny on to his good leg. “There was a fight or something. Someone had a gun; mom was trying to help someone else and then the guy with the gun… He shot and killed mom.” Jett’s tears trickled in to Danny’s hair. “He shot mom to death!?” Danny sounded panicked. “Grandma and Grandpa are going to take care of us.” Danny didn’t question the thought of grandparents they had never met taking care of them. They really never had been taken care of unless they did it themselves. Danny cried into Jett’s shoulder till he fell asleep. “Jett, how are you taking this?” Nina’s grandpa asks. “Can you put Danny to bed, sir?” Jett asks avoiding the question. He truly didn’t know how he felt about all of this. It happened so fast. Maybe it hadn’t sunk in that his mom was gone? “Tommy, it’s time to go.” His mother walked into the kitchen and Liz found her way back to Jett’s shoulder, crying her heart out. “Liz, you’re going to make your self sick.” Jett warned. “How are you so calm?” Liz whispered. “I don’t know.” But he did know. He didn’t have that mother-son relationship like Danny and his mom had. He was almost happy his mom died, she wasn’t hurting anymore. She can be with Jett’s dad now. “Come on, Liz. We are going home. I’m sorry about your mother, Jett. You know, we ar-were close friends.” Her voice caught and Jett could see tears brimming in her eyes and he wondered how far down the road she would get before they fell. “Goodbye, Jett, I’m sorry about your mom.” Tommy said gave Jett a hug then was out the door with his mom and a weeping Liz close behind. Nina came out from the kitchen slowly walking toward Jett. “Do you need to take your meds?” She asked going over to the coffee table. “Yes, my leg has been bothering me for the past hour or two.” Jett wheeled over to her side. She didn’t make eye contact with Jett as she gave him his pills and a glass of water. “Thank you, Nina.” Jett whispered and watched as a tiny half moon tear slipped down her cheek and down her chin till it reached the floor. “It’ll be okay.” He told Nina. Quite stretched out between them for a few minutes. “Your going to move, aren’t you?” She whispered suddenly. “They might live close enough for me to drive in for a visit, when I can drive again that is.” He tried to sound hopeful but it didn’t work, Nina now started to cry harder than Liz. “I don’t want you to go.” She falls into his embrace the way Liz did earlier. But earlier it was Liz. Now it was Nina. “I want you to stay here.” Nina weeps into Jett’s shoulder. That was already damp from Liz is now soaking because of the tears raining down from Nina. “I want to go out with you.” Nina started to down right sob. “I want to be your girlfriend, Jett. I want to be able to say…” Nina sobbed into his shoulder again. “Its okay, Nina, things will work out. They always do.” Jett smoothed out her hair. “I can’t say it. Why can’t I say it? What’s wrong with me!” Nina wasn’t listening to Jett’s comforting words, Jett could tell that much. “Is that why you’re crying? Because you feel guilty about not feeling the same way about me? Don’t you dare be upset about that, Nina Mackenzie.” Jett’s voice was hard and stern. Nina took his words to heart, he could tell. His face and tone softened, “It’s not wroth it, to cause your self this much pain, Nina.” Jett kissed her temple soundly. “Okay.” There was a knock at the door. Neither one of them moved at first. Another knock. “Coming.” Nina said after the third knock turned out louder than the first two. “I’m going to get some more water. I’ll be right back.” Jett wheeled into kitchen out of Nina’s sight and he let a single tear fall. He heard Nina open the door and Liz’s soft, tear drowned voice asking if Jett was here. Which Jett thought was funny, since this is his house. “No, he went into the kitchen. What’s wrong, Lizzy?” Nina’s voice sounded stronger than earlier. “I had to talk to you.” Nina let out a sigh or a huff or maybe Jett heard both. “Couldn’t this have waited till we all see each other tomorrow?” Nina’s voice grew tired. Liz’s voice grew more panicked, “No! I had to talk to you, about Jett and… me. Jett and me.” Jett could hear Liz crying harder and Nina calm her down. Jett’s heart beet faster and he held his breath. Hoping the girls couldn’t hear the pound. Pound. In his chest. “What about Jett and you?” Nina asks slowly. “Today when I was crying on his shoulder, it felt like he liked me. And I thought, ‘so is not going to be going after Nina because she doesn’t love him, like me?’ Nina, I fell in love with Jett, when I saw him in the hospital that first time without you and today made it worse, because he was,” Liz’s crying made it hard to hear the next few words but she calmed down she was still in the same sentence. “To me. I don’t know why. I don’t understand. And I couldn’t hold it in, I had to tell you. Don’t hate me, Nina. I’m so sorry.” Jett’s eyes widened at the floor. She loves me? How in the world did this happen? Lord, please don’t let this come between the four of us. If Liz likes me and Tommy finds out I don’t, what will he do to protect his sister? How is Nina going to handle this? Oh, please help us out here, God. I know there’s bigger stuff then us but please, they are all I have left. “Say something.” Liz pleaded. “Liz,” Jett heard Nina open the door. “Get out.” Jett’s jaw dropped. ‘Liz, get out.’ Nina has never acted this way before. WHAT’S GOING ON TONIGHT?! “What?” Liz gasped and Jett imagined she was flabbergasted as well. “Get. Out.” Nina said again. Jett didn’t hear Liz move. “No friend would ever fall in love with another friend’s boyfriend. It breaks all means to said friendship. I can’t believe you would do that to us. You know how long I have liked Jett. You knew and you still perused Jett. I can’t be friends with someone who would ever…” Nina’s voice trailed off and Jett found himself glued to what she would say next. This wasn’t like Nina at all. “Liz, Just. Stay. Away. From. Me.” Jett heard Liz leave and Nina slam the door. Every fiber in Jett’s being wanted to go to Nina and comfort her again but he stayed glue to what just happened between the two lifetime friends.  “Jett, you okay in there?” Jett panicked. If she came in she would see he was listening. “Yeah, do you want something?” There was a pause and Nina came into the kitchen red faced. Why does she give me then look? Oh-no. She didn’t raise her voice to call me. She said it the same level she used talking to Liz. She knows I listened in. “You heard.” Nina whispered. Jett saw she was shaking all over. “Ever word.” Jett said in an even voice. “Do you love her?” “I love you, Nina. Only you.” “She loves you. I don’t…” Nina tailed off and sat in a chair. Jett was about to say something to her when her Grandpa walked in. “Jett, your welcome to stay at our house tonight, if you want.” It would be hard staying here without mom. With a glance at Nina, Jett said, “If you can help me pack what few things are left in this old house.”

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